Long-lost half-brother trying too hard

I feel sorry for the poor bloke who only wanted to have a relationship with his birth family. How tragic that he's just a pest to his sister and mother.

From Sunday's Ask Amy

Dear Amy: A year ago I was contacted at work by a man who told me he was my half-brother.

confronted my parents and learned that I did indeed have a
half-brother, who two months before had gotten in contact with my mom.
She had given the baby up for adoption at birth.

When he
learned about me, he wanted to contact me, but she asked to hold off so
she could tell me after she digested his entering her life. Instead, he
tracked me down at work and called while concurrently sending me a
two-page e-mail.

It was creepy and extremely upsetting.

His approach bothered me, as did his lack of respect for my mother's wishes.

mom and I agreed he seemed harmless, not out for money. He was looking
to connect, as I imagine many adopted children might, but he acts on
impulse and with disregard for our feelings.

I decided to tell him not to contact me again, and my mom broke off contact with him too.

Six months later, I got an e-mail from him apologizing for upsetting me and reiterating all the reasons he had gotten in touch.

I wrote: "Thank you for your apology, but I'm not interested in a relationship, and if I change my mind, I'll contact you."

It has been another six months, and he just e-mailed me again.

I want this to stop, but I don't want to engage him.

could block his e-mail, but I almost feel like I need to know if he
contacts me in case this turns into something more and I need evidence.

How should I handle this?

Only Child

Read Amy's response to Only Child here.

Author: JaeRan

Assistant professor at UW Tacoma, writer, and researcher.

4 thoughts

  1. Honestly I don’t even know what to say because recently I’ve been getting the “I’m just a biological pest” vibes from my siblings.
    However, the difference is that I didn’t face a direct rejection.
    I feel for this adoptee, I really do…

Share your thoughts

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s