This weekend, I came across this post from an adult adoptee blogger, Things I Wish I'd Known.
I especially related to #2 on her list, which speaks to a comment we adoptees are often told, that it was part of God's plan that we were adopted.
Harlow's Monkey
an unapologetic look at transracial and transnational adoption
Harlow's Monkey 
Me too, Jae-Ran. Me too.
As an athiest, this is one of the most confusing aspects of adoption to me. I couldn’t fathom telling my children that “god” had planned on their birth father dying and their birth mother contracting a disease rendering her unable to provide a living for her three children. Ridiculous. Absolutely, disgustingly self-centered.
This is one of the arguments I most despise when I hear adoptive parents making it. The post you linked to is part of a blog carnival at http://tinyurl.com/njwnux and I did my “What No One Told Me” post, too, and included this one:
. . . that children are not “meant to be” adopted, they do not grow in the “wrong tummy” as a way-station to adoptive parents’ homes. My loving God did not want my children’s birth parents or my children to suffer pain and loss just so I could be a mommy.
I am proud to say that the first time I heard this – both from an adoptive parent and her grown adopted son – I cringed and felt just sick about it for days.
He was in his early 20s and I could see on his face a level of denial that will hurt him so much when he finally wakes up.
Thank you for this link. I have heard this said often by the people trying to adopt Liberian children. And yet, when children are being forsaken or harmed these same people will act like nothing is wrong. So what happened to God’s plan in these cases?
God never made the promise that life would be easy. Bad things happen, and no matter how you spin it, the fact that people make mistakes and have unwanted pregnancies, does not mean that God doesn’t have a plan. He gave us something called freewill. But to get to the true and disgusting gut of the argument that adoption is not in God’s plan: The importance lies in the love, not the explanation. One would think that the adult adoptees aren’t thankful for what they have, when life could have been much, much worse. They could have grown up unloved, untouched, or could have never grown up at all. Be thankful and less critical. A fellow adoptee who believes that I am in God’s plan, adopted or not.