I often talk about how the adoptee's voice is silenced and marginalized, but I believe that the women (and men) who lost their child(ren) through adoption have been marginalized and silenced to a much greater degree. That is why I recommend this very powerful essay that every adult adoptee and every adoptive parent should read.
Breaking the Silence: On Living Pro-Lifers' Choice for Women
Harlow's Monkey 
I had always assumed it common knowledge that mothers that lose their children – by choice or not – suffer greatly.
I wonder if there is hope in reunification? We are always looking for ways to tip the balance in favor of our sons being able to successfully find their mother. I occasionally fear we could be setting them up for disappointment.
She also mentions men and I have some experience there myself. I can’t speak for other men, but I always felt it was my place to hold back. It ultimately wasn’t my choice, nor can it be. It was a lot to swallow at the time, but deferring to her seemed right then and it does now many years later.
Here, here! A must-read, indeed. One thing that has always astonished me is that in many states minors are allowed to relinquish parental rights and consent to an adoption without anyone independent advising them, but minors cannot consent to an abortion. If one is so life-altering it requires parental consent or judicial by-pass, isn’t the other?
I’m an adoptive mom but I also work in women’s health care. From my observations, her emotions regarding both adoption and abortion are the norms. It’s sad that politics and religion have skewed the vision of reality so that the women who suffer through this are lost.
Thank you so much for linking this.